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Have a Laugh! Jokes & Riddles


What has eight legs and eight eyes?

Eight pirates!

 

Why are pirates so mean?

They just arrrrrgh!

 

Which side of a parrot has the prettiest feathers?

The outside!


How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket!

 

Have you heard about the cow astronaut?

He landed on the mooooooon!


Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

Because it might crack up!

 

What did the baby corn say to its mom?

Where is pop corn?

  

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the Dark Side.

 

 
Which Star Wars character works in a restaurant?

Darth Waiter

 

What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?

Catch!

 

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mewseum!

 

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen!

 

 

Why do scientists think hummingbirds hum?

Because they can't remember the words!


Knock knock
Who's there?
Mikey!
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole!

 

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cows!
Cows who?
Cows go 'moo' not who!


 

Knock knock
Who’s there?
A titch!
A titch who?
Bless you!
 

Knock knock
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
You're welcome!


 

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Luke!
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you can see!


 

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Frank!
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!


 

Knock knock
Who's there?
Wooden shoe!
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

 

 Where does a penguin keep its money?
(In a snow bank!)

 

Where do fish keep their money?
(In a river-bank!)

51 comments:

  1. these are very funny jokes

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sophia
    HAHAHA that is funny

    ReplyDelete
  3. What do elves do after school?
    Gnomework!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
    -To get to the other slide.

    What does a robot frog say?
    -Rib-bot.

    Why is 6 afraid of 7?
    -Because 7 8 9!

    Why do cows wear bells?
    -Because their horns don't work!

    Knock, knock.
    -Who's there?
    Interrupting cow.
    -Interrupting c..
    MOO!!!

    Knock, knock.
    -Who's there?
    Cows say.
    -Cows say who?
    No silly, cows say moo!

    ReplyDelete
  5. what do you call a pig that knows karate porkchop

    ReplyDelete
  6. how do you make a tissue dance put a boogi in it

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  7. What did the phone say to the battery? Turn me off!

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  8. What did the bird say when you take a picture of it?
    -Are you going to tweet that!

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  9. A cowboy road into town on a Friday and came back 2 days later on a Friday

    His horses name is Friday

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  10. Caliyah.H gr 41 April 2014 at 17:49

    This jokes are soooo funny tell me more

    ReplyDelete
  11. kristian grade 34 April 2014 at 17:08

    what is a seamonsters favourite lunch

    fish and ships

    ReplyDelete
  12. kristian grade 34 April 2014 at 17:44

    A man walks into a bar, What does he say?

    Ofhh, it was an iron bar.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What do elves learn at school?
    -elfabet

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  14. What do you call a fake noodle?

    An Impasta

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  15. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?

    A deviled egg!

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  16. Thomas gr 4

    why did the ''M&M'' go to school?

    to become a ''SMARTIE''!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. amazing jokes my family and i had a great laugh

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  18. Markos
    Knock , knock

    Who's there

    interrupting cow



    MOOOOOOO

    ReplyDelete
  19. What do you call two witches that share a broomstick?
    -Broom-mates!

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  20. A clown goes to a cowboy restaurant, What does he order?

    - horn on the cob

    ReplyDelete
  21. Knock,knock

    who's there

    elephant

    elephant who's

    he come to a house

    ReplyDelete
  22. "What is a cheese's favourite food?" asked Auralie
    " Macaroni and cheese."

    ReplyDelete
  23. how do you stop a rhino from charging nobody knows rhinos usually don't charge LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    ReplyDelete
  24. KNOCK KNOCK

    WHO'S THERE?

    MIKEY

    MIKEY WHO?

    MIKEY DOESN'T WORK.CANYOU OPEN THE DOOR

    ReplyDelete
  25. Guy walks into a library and says, "I will have a cheeseburger and fries please."
    The librarian responds, "sir you know you are in a library?"
    "Sorry." The man says (in a whisper) "I will have a cheeseburger and fries please."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !LOVED THAT JOKE TELL MORE!

      Delete
  26. What do hockey player like on his sunday? don cherry

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  27. THIS JOKES ARE LOL

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  28. LOL OMG HAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHHHHAAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHHAH! Also,here's a joke, how does a cat meow as a pokemon? MEOWTH!

    ReplyDelete
  29. How do you know Santa is in the room?
    You can sense his PRESENTS!


    What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up into the sky?
    "Looks like RAIN, DEAR".


    What did the Gingerbread Man use as a cover for his bed?
    A COOKIE SHEET.

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  30. What nationality is Santa Claus?
    POLish.

    What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
    Santa CLAWS.


    Why did Santa spell Christmas in French N-O-E instead of N-O-E-L?
    Because the angel said it is "No L".

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  31. WHAT''S A MONKEY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG/

    JUNGLE BELLS JUNGLE BELLS JUNGLE ALL THE WAY.

    ReplyDelete
  32. what do you call santa when he stops moving?

    santa pause

    ReplyDelete
  33. what does a winning hockey drink at breakfeast ?

    A stanley cup of coffie

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  34. what does a hockey player and a magician have in common ?

    HAT TRICKS!

    ReplyDelete
  35. What has 8 fins,4 tales and 4 heads


    4 FISH

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  36. I like the luke joke it was so funny

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  37. Kristian

    Why do woman live longer then man?

    Shopping never causes heart attacks

    ReplyDelete
  38. when do hockey players dress in formal attier

    AT A TIE GAME

    ReplyDelete
  39. hockey is my life21 March 2015 at 15:24

    Why isit always so cold in hockey arenas


    BECAUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF FANS

    ReplyDelete
  40. hockey is my life21 March 2015 at 15:30

    What do hockey players put ontop of there sundas

    DON CHEERY

    ReplyDelete
  41. Why did the waiter fall over



    Because he was tiped

    ReplyDelete
  42. Those were really good and creative jokes. Now I know so many more jokes!

    ReplyDelete